I’m sorry for not writing last week. It was a bit of a busy week, and many unexpected things happened:
- Our IT person left the company that I’m working for, and they expect me to replace him (when he has 10 years of experience and I’m a recent graduate). So I’ve been busy with training (three days of training…) and replacing him.
- I graduated! Last Wednesday, I walked through the stage and FINALLY got my degree, so I can finally say I am an IT graduate!
- I went to a birthday party on Friday and they wanted me to perform, so I went straight after work.
- I went on a trip to the small city where I went to Bible College this past weekend until Tuesday of this week.
So, as you can see, it was an eventful week! It was a busy week, but it was great, so no complaints there. However, I’ve been recently thinking about how God is moving in my life lately, and I can’t help but wonder what He wants me to do now.
When I was on this trip to the city where I went to Bible College – which was a small city where everyone probably knew each other in some way – I started thinking about what God has planned for me. It was hard not to because people that I knew from Bible College still lived in that city, and every time we started chatting, we would end up talking about God in some way, whether it be laughing about certain things in the Bible or being serious about His will. Either way, God was involved at some point.
When I was on this trip, I couldn’t help but feel like God has placed me in that place for a reason. In fact, when I was on the plane praying for what God was going to do to me with my trip there, He gave me a word that I couldn’t shake off of my head:
Life-changing? God, what do You mean? You got to make it clearer than that, Lord.
Sure enough, it was a life-changing trip. I hung out with people that I haven’t seen in five years, met people who I haven’t met before, and met again people who I haven’t seen in about 10+ years. I talked and conversed with people ranging from minutes to hours. I couldn’t stop talking, and we were able to carry a conversation for what seems like forever (exaggeration, obviously, but it felt like that). It was refreshing. It was as if I was transported five years back to when I was going to Bible College and relearning so many things about who God is and how amazing He is. These conversations definitely were a part of my life-changing moment. However, through all these conversations and all these experiences, there was one thought that I couldn’t shake off the entire trip:
I want to move and live here.
Now, I don’t know if this was a feeling of running away from my current circumstances or just the fact that I was on a trip here. But people kept coming up to me and telling me if I’ve ever considered moving to that city. The craziest thing is that there are people who I respect and admire who asked me the same question, so it definitely made me think.
But then again, I thought about my family, my ministry, and my life where I lived now and having to change all of that to live there. As well, I started thinking about having to find another job, finding my own place to live, and finding a car (because the place I visited didn’t have a reliable transit system). All these things started entering my mind and kept me thinking even more.
However, there were other thoughts that also favoured my decision to move here, like a support system of friends who will help me draw closer to God, a chance to live outside of my comfort zone and live by myself, multiple opportunities of doing ministry, and being able to learn under people who I feel like there are lots to learn from. All these positives massively outweighed the negatives, and I was stuck at a crossroad without really knowing what to do.
I got back this past Tuesday, and for the past few days, this is all I could think about. Maybe…? What if…? Would I be able to do it? All these thoughts and questions kept popping up in my mind, and I can’t shake it off. Even now as I work, I keep thinking about the possibility. I find myself looking at positions in the small city or somewhere close there. I find myself thinking about this possibility and moving away from the familiarity of where I grew up to the place where I find myself being calm and collected. Two different locations, two different cities, two different identities. One where I feel secure in my cultural background, and one where I stick out. One where I’m a big fish in a small pond, and one where I’m a small fish in a big pond. One where my family is around, and one where I’m by myself.
I can’t tell yet if that city is where God wants me to be, but, at one point in my life, I may spend a portion of my life there. Now, I don’t know the answer whether that will be soon or later on in my life. All I do know is that I’m stuck waiting for now. I just gotta wait for God and see where He leads me.
“but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.”
– Isaiah 40:31 ESV
TL;DR – Keith was busy, so no post last week. Keith went on trip this past week, and it was life-changing. Keith is now wondering whether God wants Keith to move to small city or still live in big city. Keith has many questions and concerns, but leaves it all to God. Keith, remember Isaiah 40:31.